W*******n v Chester Utd



Ben. Kai. James.


Jack. JR. Harry.



Our first game in the 9 a side league division 4 awaited us..
the sunny Hub at Washington was pristine, kudos to the groundsman for we had a Wembley quality pitch to play on.. 20c and gorgeous, an early start meant Maximus had to come straight from The Garden Farm, but he made it..🤨

Gaz Middleton stood forward and was the linesman today,
The Strawberry Twin of Sean Middleton-
Having just returned from military manoeuvres in a god forsaken place of no name, he had his game face on immediately💪

The ladies cooed as he took control and dominated the white lines.. 🥰
the grass shuddered and lined up like magnetic iron filings at the thought of being in the presence of Dryden Royalty.

Just as the game began I heard exultant cries From The Kirkwood…
I turned with eyes wide as she exclaimed that one of My socks was inside out 😳😳😳

By Jove, she was right..
oh my God, the Shame of it…
one of my Puma’s was prancing in an inverted fashion😳

Sarah’s persiflage knows no equal, as she publicly revealed my horrendously embarrassing ensemble faux pas.

The ignominious declaration had shamed me into silence..
all around were joyous to the extreme, especially the kids🤨

We began with a fire.. good passing movements established from the start, the example was set by Captain Enforcer.

Today he was physical and unerring in the challenge..
he looked strong and determined, his presence was the mere definition of a professional footballer. 👏👏

We soon became aware than no parents had tied any shoelaces as several players stopped in their tracks due to unruly laces🤨 so many contenders for
Next years awards ceremony🤣

Jack ‘The Escapologist’ Roy was tapping the heels of all and sundry, hungry for the ball he was a constant thorn in the side of The Washington players.. lifting one chap several feet in the air at one point, levitation established thru a ‘proper tackle’ as Commander Borthwick nodded in appreciation.

The Opposition keeper decided to spoil the party as he smashed a long ball which bounced viciously over everyone, we stood statically mesmerised like Tongan Stones as the Washington striker took control and slotted easily passed the outstretched hands of The Brickwall, 20 yards out and into the far corner.
1-0 and undone by an A1 attack.
We had been hit by a sucker punch, after much possession.

Would we have an answer or just lay down???
The Beast was dominant, released from his shackles to run riot and smash the opposition.. he had gone all Dolph Lundgren as he declared
‘I come in peace, you go in pieces’!

The Duffydonna controlled the back line as careful as Al Capone doing his yearly tax return.. ☺️ Imperious..

At one point he repelled a dangerous attack and went all
‘Ashford and Simpson’
Solid as a rock!
Yeah, I hear ya singing it people😎❤️ Preach 🙏

The Brickwall cleared the ball well, his goal kicks off the ground particularly beautiful, accurate and high… 👏👏

I could hear The Hitman crunch
Bones on the wing as he went about his daily rituals..
speed and energy are his close companions,
a Black briefcase and glock 9 in hand… there are few with his passion for the battle..

leaning in I heard him declare
‘Ya wanna swim with the fishes’

The Hammer came off for a deserved rest.
The Hurricane gusted passed me and into left wing formation .. like a Star Wars attack ship he was ready to go to Photon torpedoes at a moments notice.

The Brickwall was bored now..
and so gave the Washington lads a free chance of an attack😳

The Hoover sensed danger and removed the Washington players legs.. sadly he was deemed inside the penalty area.
The ref pointed to the spot. 🥺

We were in danger of losing it, this was for 2-0..
As the striker ran up confidently The Brickwall inhaled a huge deep breath and physically grew a foot taller.. inflating himself manually.. what a presence!

The ball was repelled instantly and the rebound happily sailed over the top of the bar!
Tremendous work from The impenetrable brickwork👏👏

The Escapologist held
The ball up and with one move swivelled on one foot moving the ball away from the very attentive market swiftly passed to feet and started a move which resulted in a Terrific team move instigated by the skill and simplicity of that sequence.

His hunger and determination was impressive today, defending from the front and pushing his team forward at every opportunity 👏👏

The Hurricane was fantastic down the left wing, acceleration of a Bugatti and the touch of a wizard… he devastated Washington.

He began like a zephyr passing his first man, by the end of the run he had hurricaned 3 players who were stood still scratching their heads at a loss of what had just transpired.. 👏👏

The Hurricane then delivered the perfect cross, into Jinkin who was more concerned with his Folie Bergere footwork than the euphoria of scoring, 🤣
Leaving the honour to The Hitman to smash home a tap
In from 3 yards out.. 👏👏
1-1 and back into it!

Half time came and wise words from The General.

The Yassinator moved on for Linx-
Hitman moved in to no.10
Avenger right wing.

The Hurricane immediately grabbed the ball and looped the ball reversely over the heads of the midfielder
and away passed two defenders left flailing in his wake and
Into The Yassinator who dummied the ball🤣
(I mean missed it) and set up The Avenger to slot home,
I was on a lap of honour before seeing the ball Cruelly roll passed the post..😱

The Avenger ran into the box on the right wing, The Hurricane was awaiting the pass which was strongly delivered…
The Keeper proceeded to drop it under the feet of The Yassinator…
A tap in surely, but no it rolled away and was cleared 😱

The Avenger corner came in and rebounded straight back to him,
The precision of the cross was astounding…
as The Beast lined up his head to score a boomer…

Before he could feel leather on head, The gymnastic Yassinator, as if dismounting from the high beam in the Tokyo Olympics The Yassinator spun in the box and connected with the ball,
an overhead kick not seen since the days of Rooney!

it’s was like the Man Utd derby goal Reem just in case you want to watch it again… 🤣

Absolute Worldie.
One could only applaud and laugh. Tap ins obviously not his bag. 🤣🤣

We seemed to lift and grow in stature after that goal.
The catalyst for the unbelievable next
20 monumental minutes!

The Duffydonna’s passing as CDM was sublime,
Assured confident and accurate…
whilst controlling The Kray twins along the off side line as well 👏👏
No mean feet Master Duffy.

The Avenger drove down the wing with such speed and strength that he easily won a corner after passing 2 players like they were standing still..

His delivery was pinpoint to The Enforcer, he swivelled and easily slotted at the near post, giving the keeper no chance..
3-1 👏👏

Gaz Middleton felt the full
Weight of Coach as he was mounted like a lady alpaca in mating season 😳

The Hitman was tackling well
And breaking forward with great desire, his engine has no limits.

The Beast was under pressure at the back, in possession and dribbling he was targeted as a striker came in hard, intimidatingly fast and with an axe of a tackle into the back of his legs.. oooohhh!! Ouch!!!

Without missing a step, and as if nothing had happened The Beast continued on his way, brushing off the buzzing fly as a casual annoyance.. 😳🤣

The Yassinator pushed on and created havoc in the top 3rd of the pitch, passing to wingers and moving into the box brilliantly 👏👏

he was like a shadow on the defender’s back as he pressured him into losing it..
then took the fruits of his labour and buried it into the goal..
4-1 👏👏👏

Jinkin moved to right wing,
The Avenger coming off for a rest after a heady shift of constant battling and sprinting down the right wing. 👏👏

Midfield was ours, dominating proceedings was The Enforcer who dictated play like God… a perfectly weighted Pass from The Hurricane reached The Yassinator in full stride…

His dribble and shimmy to the left of the box created space for an immediate swivel onto his right foot, leaving the defender in a whole world of hurt…
A vicious snap shot to the keeper’s right was saved well but Jinkin popped up to tap in the bits.. 👏👏👏
5-1 and Borthwick felt the weight of celebration just like Gaz had earlier.. ❤️

The Brickwall concentrated, dispatched, and organised the defence very well today…
He stepped up, well done Fred.

Washington were not prepared to throw in the towel… as they pushed aggressively towards goal…
The Hoover was called into play again and saved us at the back with an assured challenge, his touch was more composed and gave him time to choose his pass.

The Yassinator, constantly waiting for opportunities and sniffing out the goal got his reward as he picked up a
Pass from The Hurricane turned and ran thru a crowded pitch, slotting with aplomb and 6-1 for the hatrick! 👏👏👏

Maximus smiled knowingly-
Like a Roman general, his master plan had succeeded in defeating the marauding barbarian hordes once
‘Only dead men have seen the end of war’ (George Santayana)
And this was a war, be not mistaken.

The Hoover kept his constant watch, and intervened where necessary, playing some
Penetrating balls forward to the attackers.

The Hurricane felt the wrath of Washington as a ‘clothesline’ tackle came in strong, a similar fate had befallen our young Duffydonna just minutes earlier.

One look at the coach and his face became familiar, Mick McManus of the 80s Big ITV ‘wrestlemania’ program was coaching the under 11s Washington side😳 and then it all made sense.. 😉

The Hurricane had blown himself out.. a rest required and a drink to compose himself.

The Beast cleared his lines again, not wanting to relinquish a single yard of turf.. his presence meant pain for the Washington attackers.

But Washington weren’t finished yet, as The Brickwall saw the danger as The striker came pummelling towards him, the ball slightly ahead of the striker…

this was a pure 50/50 which all Pyscho Keepers love…. Nothing like getting yer head in against a leather footy and boot symbiotically, the sense of achievement in the save, the taste of blood at the back of your throat, the feeling of adoration from all around.. 👏👏
‘Ooohhh yes, football
Isn’t it!!!’ 💪💪💪

The Hammer calmly made a clearance casually stroking the ball to The Hoover as if on his way to purchase The Daily Telegraph, pipe in hand, flat cap perched on his brow.. not a care in the world.

It wasn’t long before he was back from the newsagents and having a devastating effect on Washington’s hopes..

Jack ‘The Hammer’ Kelly drove a long ball down the line to The Super-Sub Yassinator..
Reminded me of my days at Oxford Uni… playing Croquet and waxing lyrically about the dead poets with a cigar balanced between my lips☺️

‘Blake’ came to mind as I contemplated the game..

Tyger Tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
(William Blake)

who sprinted like a gazelle into the box, 12 yards out, destiny awaited as The Yassinator boomed a shot high above the keeper’s reach, the net barely able to contain the leather meteor!
Stunningly accurate and powerful, a goal that Geoff Hurst would have been proud of, a goal good enough to grace a World Cup Final victory.

His 4th goal and what could have been 6 if he had been on his toes with those earlier chances.. ☺️
Hatrick every week now Mr Yass
7-1 job done.

All the news today was meant to be about Ronaldo, but today The Yassinator became more famous than CR7 with a super sub performance.

Top of the league +6 goals
And 3 points!